One of the little secrets I hide from Jennifer: I keep a few pictures on my computer which I view every so often, and, well, those pictures make me take a bit of a time-out and remember.  Here’s one of those pictures:

There’s this rather cheesy song by Alison Krauss, I believe, that asks the Lord to “show me where you brought me from and where I could have been.” (Yes, I’m taking the lyrics out of context, but this is what they mean for me.)  This picture was taken just a few days after my surgery in Hamilton General.  Every time I view those pictures, I am amazed at “where I could have been.”  Before I came to University College Dublin I spent lots of time thinking about the wonder of that successful surgery, but now I spend even more.  It’s good for me to realize that it’s simply a miracle that I survived, but even better for me to study a little neurology and understand a bit more of how big that miracle really is!  We have cut around in the brain, considered the functions of the cerebellum (the tumour was between the two lobes of my cerebellum), looked at pharmacology (how drugs and the body interact), talked about cancer and the nasty realities of metastasis (when the “bad” cancer, malignant cancers, spread to other parts of the body), and yes, I’ve tried to imagine how skillful the surgeon must have been. (Even in dissection, when no arteries are pulsing around and all the tissues are quite firm, my scalpel slips around clumsily.)  And that’s just the surface of it–I’m sure I’ll learn much more about this all in the next few years, but still, I’ll never understand just how big that miracle is.

This was not a superficial, benign tumour, just below the skin that wouldn’t spread, this was a malignant tumour that was basically growing against the brainstem.  All I have left are a few exceedingly minor physical and mental effects (and emotional, I’m sure)… and some awfully good memories.

So that’s why I’m having a little praise and worship session at the moment.  I should not have survived.  If I did survive, I should not have married the most wonderful woman in the world; nor should I have gone back to finish my degree at Guelph.  But even if I did marry Jenn and graduate from Guelph, I should not still like studying–the very resilience of my brain, which is still working fine (most of the time–ask Jenn:-P) after having bits and pieces cut out of it, is a testimony to the Creator and His miracles.

And that’s hopefully the mushiest post I’ll ever post on this blog.  I’m presently in the library at UCD, which means I have a very healthy Internet connection, which means I should put up some pictures of Wales.

~Gabriel

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