I picked up a book on baby names at the library, called Brilliant Baby Names by Laura and Geoff King. I know, it’s probably too early to be thinking about names … but it’s a free country! (The first time I heard that term was when I was about ten and staying somewhere overnight with my older cousins. I was shocked at how late we were staying up, but my cousin Beth told me “You can go to bed if you want–it’s a free country.” 😀 She was right!) Besides, our name-choosing history is not good–we’ll probably need seven months to come up with one. And I like names.

Anyway … the book lists some names of movie stars’ babies. What were these people smoking when they named their kids? EXAMPLES:

Bono, U2 singer: Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q
David Bowie, singer: Zowie (Zowie Bowie? Come on.)
Jamie Oliver, celebrity cook: Daisy Boo, Poppy Honey
Shannyn Sossamon, actress: Audio Science (WHAT?)
Paula Yates, celebrity: Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily
Michael Jackson, singer: Prince Michael, Paris, Blanket (I knew he was off his onion, and this confirms it.)

But where I really got my laugh for the day was out of the Pilgrim’s baby names. The movie stars have nothing on the Pilgrims, y’all. Apparently they used to close their eyes and jab somewhere on the page of the Holy Scriptures with a pin, and whatever they got was what they named their baby. These names, by the way, are taken from legit records in Britain and America:

Be-Courteous
Be-Faithful
Consider
Faint-Not
Faith-My-Joy
Fear-God
Fear-Not
Fight-The-Good-Fight-Of-Faith (“Get back here, fightthegoodfightafaith!”)
Fly-Debate
Fly-Fornication (No comment.)
Hate-Evil
Job-Raked-Out-Of-The-Ashes
Search-The-Scriptures
Sin-Deny
Wrestling-With-The-Devil

And the winner:
If-Christ-Had-Not-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned.

I count it among my blessings that my parents were not Pilgrims or movie stars. 😀

Do you have any other weird, fascinating, and otherwise entertaining names to add to the list?

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